You are not allowed to say that.

You are not allowed to say that.

Please don't do this.

on the day of the fourth Series Games, I was sitting at the base camp of the Chinese Department and other classmates. I was chatting with a male student of the same department. I usually started talking to strangers in college by saying, "classmate, where are you from?" Yeah, so do we. I forgot where he said he was from, but what I remember was that his ambiguous eyes and inexplicable bad grin made me feel sick when I said, "I'm from Dongguan." Then he continued to ask: "is Dongguan's economy in the doldrums now?" I was confused for a moment, so I asked him, "Why do you ask?" He said, "isn't Dongguan anti-pornography?" I scolded me in my heart at that time. Do you really think that Dongguan relies on this to make its only economic pillar? So I have the same simple and rude impression of this boy in addition to ignorance, or ignorance.

An A friend, who is studying in another city in Guangdong, has been using Dongguan's mobile phone number instead of that city's number, but recently she is going to change her number. She said that almost every time Didi Taxi got on the bus, the driver would ask her, "are you from Dongguan?" The same smile, the same ambiguous meaning.

B friend is studying in Beijing. after the freshman's self-introduction, a classmate came up to her and asked her, "are you the classmate who just performed above?" B said, "Yes, do you recognize me?" As a result, the smiling non-smiling classmate also said, "No, I just remember when you introduced yourself that you were from Dongguan."

well, I'm used to the situation that people in Dongguan will encounter when they go to college outside.

I remember that in college, when I first met everyone and asked me where I was from, I would be prepared to see an ironic smile, because I was used to most people's impression of Dongguan as "pornography and anti-pornography". In their imagination, in the minds of those who do not even have a basic understanding of all aspects of Dongguan, Dongguan is full of hotel foot bathing shops on the street, full of "ladies" who drive to the base of their thighs in exposed cheongsam underpants.

even as a local who has lived in Dongguan for 18 years, it was only last year, that is, in 2014, when I launched a large-scale clean-up and rectification campaign, that I knew that there was such an industry in Dongguan. At that time, I thought it was just that I was ill-informed and did not understand this information. Until I asked my friends, most of them said that they did not know that Dongguan had this "characteristic industry" until now. However, for outsiders, especially those who come here on business, this is the signboard of Dongguan, a label, a label they have only known about Dongguan, not Dongguan itself.

it's just that getting used to it doesn't mean you're numb.

whenever I am misunderstood, I will calmly explain that it is not so much a calm explanation as a stubborn rebuttal. I will try to hold back my anger and use short words to tell those who do not know Dongguan that we are a "basketball city", a "factory of the world", a "place to win every year" and "the most charming city in China". We are really not the "sex capital" that you think we are.

there is a concept in psychology called "stereotype", also known as "stereotype effect", which refers to piecing together other people's reports and what we can imagine to form our opinions, thus forming a fixed impression of a certain person or kind of thing in our minds. And "Sex Capital", I think, is the "stereotype" of Dongguan by most outsiders, which often cannot be easily changed, but people with such an impression should actually understand Dongguan in many aspects. instead of focusing on this nasty theme and digging up more and more information with dirty or sensitive words.

every city has a chance to be misunderstood, and the more people who don't know where they are, the more likely they are to come to an one-sided conclusion. Every city has one or more labels. Just like mentioning Beijing, two words "congestion" and "haze" will appear in everyone's mind. When you mention Hong Kong, you will think of "Hang Seng Index" and "TVB". When you mention Taiwan, you will think of "Taiwan independence" and "politics". What I want to emphasize is that these labels are posted by others, not all the representatives within the city. It is precisely because it comes from others that it is not completely true and comprehensive, just like Beijing is not every place will be congested like the inner ring, Hong Kong is not any street can see the scenes of police and bandits in TVB, not everyone in Taiwan supports Taiwan independence, but because the special case is particularly prominent. Just like a person who is different from others is particularly noticeable in the crowd, so he is representative,

but these representations are inherently one-sided.

there are many things you haven't experienced, so don't judge the good or the bad at will.

only when you understand it can you have a say.

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empathy is really important.

R is my good friend and an exchange student ing in Taiwan. He said that he has encountered a lot of losers both online and offline in Taiwan. Many young people in Taiwan think that China is rich, rich, low-quality and reckless. The Chinese people unconditionally support the central government, whether it is right or wrong, do not criticize what is wrong and do everything to the outside world, there is no freedom of speech, political freedom, and so on. On the other hand, R's attitude is that most of the Taiwanese students he has come into contact with have never been to the mainland. In their eyes, the mainland is still an unfashionable and enlightened place where wealth is accumulated. Their understanding of the mainland is through online information, but what most people ignore is that online information is often screened by the media and is subjectively representative, that is, it is accompanied by one-sidedness. As a result, the understanding of the mainland is getting narrower and narrower, and the misunderstanding is getting deeper and deeper.

if a person has been to the mainland to learn more about or live in the mainland, what do you think will be the understanding of the mainland?

so you have the right to judge others, but remember to go to judge independently, and don't be completely influenced by the atmosphere around you, and don't listen to others along the way.

Editor's note: writing this article does not feel smooth. Relying on some scattered words, I feel that I have not analyzed the inner layer deeply, but I just write down some things and my own thoughts, and I have personal subjective feelings. As a Dongguan student in Guangzhou, I always encounter such a situation. I often have to guess the meaning of other people's cunning smile. I'm used to it but not numb. It is difficult to correct the name on your own, but at least you have to oppose such a "Dongguan label" in your heart.