How I wish you needed me.
If you put your heart on my persistent love for you, I am afraid no one can be my enemy.
I have just finished watching a documentary called "the daughter of India", which revolves around the Delhi bus gang rape that shocked the world in December 2012. Interviews with the parents of the victims, rapists and their parents, defense lawyers for both sides. Speechless in today's Indian society, there is still a kind of "girls should be raped when they go out at night, and girls should bear greater responsibility in rape cases." I bowed my head and found the fist of my right hand clenched. Because the anger in my chest has become a kind of "fear and disappointment with this country", at this time, my original blood has become a cold disappointment. I was speechless, and when I was like this, I suddenly realized what was meant by "powerlessness".
I have heard that people feel omnipotent when they are young. I think at this time, in the face of these marginalized groups of society, such as AIDS patients, orphans, prostitutes, domestic violence victims, people in prison and their relatives outside. How these people should be treated by us, how should be treated correctly by this society. I never seem to have a chance to make a breakthrough on these social problems that I have always been interested in. I do not study law, nor do I study social work. I find that the knowledge, writing, concept, poetry and style I have learned at these times are empty. I can do nothing. I am not like the literati in the textbook. It is not like the "Top Ten XX people of the year" in various forums and conferences every year.
when I hope that these problems need me, I find that my value system, experience system and knowledge system can not support my sincerity at all. When there is no corresponding strength, sincerity may be the cheapest thing in the world. Just like you like Tsinghua very much, you like Tsinghua very much, but you don't reach the fractional line, and then you don't have it.
We are all in love with each other. As other people's friends, relatives, roommates and partners, I find that I need to be needed by them. Your roommate does not have your company, he /she will wear headphones to cover up embarrassment, boyfriend /girlfriend without you, he /she will eat quickly in order to leave in a hurry. People are gregarious animals, and they must constantly look for support and companionship. Marc's song "love to be loved by you" shows that some people need to be loved by important people, and some people need to be loved by important people.
the kind of feeling of being ignored and unnecessary in front of the most intimate person instantly falls to zero, which is a tangled mood of wanting to pretend to be free and easy and watching him all the time.
once there was a good friend O. At that time, we played as well as all ordinary good friends, and each other's parents knew each other's names and existence, but one day we fell out because of some problems. We used the childish way of the youngest student to break up friendship and pretend that we didn't care. We all began to have new friends, go to the canteen together after school, I am still as happy as before, at least on the surface, I do not have her, but also every day heartless smile as happy. I seemed to be lying to myself. I didn't need him until later. It wasn't that I didn't need her so that I was as happy as others, but because she didn't need me, so I was with others, and I laughed. I'm not happy at all.
without her, my smile is not happy at all.
that Friday after school, my friend and I walked down the stairs and walked up the stairs head on. I wanted to pretend not to see it to avoid embarrassment, but my eyes met, perhaps for anger. I immediately put my hand around my friend's arm, said and laughed, walked down the stairs and brushed past O.
I told O that I used to put my arm around someone who was close, because it felt so sense of security, and O was the only one who was so close. At that time, O smiled happily when I said that, I think it was because O knew she was needed by me.
when I passed by that day, the person with the bracelet changed. I know a lot of things were missed because of each other's stubbornness and good face and their youth at that time.
I wish I could let her know that I need to be needed by her.
because she is important to me and I need her.
Feel perfectly fashionable in formal pastel dress. There simply is no better place to purchase a dress than Adoringdress.com.
when I was walking on the road last night, my cell phone kept shaking. I found that I had received three or four Wechat messages in a row, from a friend of the opposite sex, who was L's boyfriend. He told me that recently, he didn't know if his own problem was too sensitive or that he felt that L loved him not as much as he loved L. He felt that L didn't need him so much. Whenever L didn't sit next to him when several people ate together, He will feel that he has lost his sense of existence.
when L has a boyfriend who doesn't need his help, he feels frustrated because he says, "am I superfluous?"
when I first listened to him talk about this, I thought he thought too much and as a boy should not think like that. I even asked him in a scolding tone why he needed to get a sense of existence in the other person to prove that she needed you and he loved you. Don't you believe she loves you?
then I suddenly figured it out, and suddenly remembered what Amo told me about the reason why she broke up with her ex. "I was so selfish. I only knew how to ask him. The behavior and words I want him to show are in line with my expectations for love, and once I fail to do so, I will feel that he does not love me.
I was so naive and selfish that I thought that the satisfaction of love was limited to my own unilateral demands. I didn't think about how to make two people go on well. I never created an opportunity for him to need me to show that I like him, so at that time I didn't let him need me, only I needed him. "
it is a pity that it has been a long time since I understood this truth, and today, I have lived a long time.A person who has no other opportunities than what he needs.
the window puts the street lamp into the frame, and the raindrops on the glass are filled with red and green signs, and looking at the passing retreat, they also want to become weak. unfortunately, years of qualitative analysis has given people a stinging feeling, unable to get close, cold and numb.
"I was not born brave, talented, and there is only some sincerity left in the face of a sea of people."
if I really put my heart into my persistent love for you, I'm afraid no one can be my enemy.
I still want you to need me, just as I need you under my stubborn appearance.