She pressed the red packet on my hand and said, "take it. That's why you're here."
freshman year changed the idea of being an exchange student in Taiwan, but I missed two opportunities by mistake. On the night I went home two months ago, after talking to a brother, I decided to do it. At that time, I thought that I was the only one who didn't want it, and there was nothing I couldn't do. Frankly, I thought so since I was a child.
two days later, in the evening, I went into the kitchen and talked to my mother about it. Ever since I can remember, my parents will try their best to support you in studying and studying. They can buy less clothes and eat less snacks, but they must be enterprising. But that was the first time, I saw her look guilty: "if I could support you as much as possible before, but now this special level, there is really nothing I can do."
"Oh, it's all right. I don't want you to go for me. I'll figure it out on my own."
I hesitated to finish this sentence. When I walked back to my room, I received two messages, one was the outage notice of my mobile phone, and the other was the notice of arrears from the bank.
that night I lay in bed looking at the ceiling all night. My friend on the other end of the phone was packing my bags for Taiwan, and I was thinking, "Why on earth do I feel so good about myself?"
the next day I decided to go out to look for a job and ask my friend to help me pay attention. As a result, I didn't even need cheap labor. When my friend learned that, he usually said to me, "then don't go there. Isn't going to Taiwan just for fun? it's all for rich kids."
there are also people who understand my ideas better and provide me with practical methodology. He thinks it is impossible for me to collect the money in a short period of time, and the way he suggests me is "you go to crowdfunding."
what's it like to have no money?
when I was seven or eight years old, I often stayed with a friend of my father. There was a little sister in his family who had a very good relationship with me. At that time, the condition of our family was not very good. They lived in a mansion, and I usually came to visit her. Once, as usual, I played computer with her in the living room on the fourth floor. I saw my father's arrival through surveillance. Adults usually talked in the hall on the third floor, and the children usually did not go down.
more than ten minutes later, my aunt came upstairs, and the little sister asked, "is your uncle here?" My aunt glanced at me as she rummaged around. Instead of answering her, she said directly to me, "Yes, your father is here to borrow money again." I was so embarrassed that I didn't know how to react, so I had to bury my head and pretend to be messing with the mouse.
during the Spring Festival that year, on the first day of the Lunar New year, I went to see my little sister. When she got up in the living room, my aunt handed me a red envelope and said it was from my uncle. I hurriedly waved my hand and politely said, "No need!" She directly pressed the red packet on my hand, "take it, that's why you're here." I don't think I can get that sarcastic look out of my head for the rest of my life.
but in the end, my father didn't refuse the money they lent, just like I left the red envelope without handsome, because we all knew what the money meant to us at that time.
that was the first time I learned what the concept of "no money" was.
there was an accident at home for some time as a freshman. At that time, I had only 20 yuan left in my body, and I had to live on it for more than half a month. Eat one meal a day, eat instant noodles, and cook a packet in half. Refuse any invitations from friends for dinners and movies and start to go out alone. Until one day, my friend came to me from another city. He took me to a western restaurant and the waiter put the plate in front of me. He said, "eat more." when I cut the steak, I buried my head very low. I was afraid that my eyes would betray my emotions. it was the first time I saw meat that week.
after seeing him off, I waited for the bus at the terminal. When I flipped through my headphones, I found that there were three 100 yuan notepads on the inside of my schoolbag. The mood that I had held back at the dinner table for a long time all collapsed at that moment.
you will ask, why don't you make money?
when I was a freshman and I didn't know what to do, I took a part-time job and worked three jobs at the same time, handing out questionnaires, handing out leaflets and tutoring. I made a little money from this thing that I was not very keen on, but I found that I was not very happy. As a sophomore, I decided to do something that would make me happy, so at the end of the semester, I did a lot of voluntary work about my feelings. When I didn't make a penny on the other hand, I began to question.
I'm not trying to make excuses for my lack of money.
more than half a year ago, the editor group was discussing a topic about the choice between a job with a salary of 5000 yuan you don't like and a job with a salary of 3500 yuan you like. This is the question raised by the editor who came in with me. At that time, the thorn asked, "Why is there no choice of 5000 yuan that you like?" The future thinks that you can't have both, but thorns disagree. "you think you can't have both, because you can't keep up with your ability, so you desperately make excuses. I dare say that all I have to do is take a salary of 5000 yuan and do what I like."
it's not that you can't make money doing what you like.
it's that you don't have the ability to talk about the two on the same platform.
over the years, I have experienced a lot of "lack of money" and embarrassment, and it is only now that I understand that having no money is never a problem, but having no money and no ability is a problem, as if looking good is not a problem. People who are good-looking can make money and have more ability than you, and that's what you have to face. My father was incompetent, so he had frequent business problems and had to borrow money from his friends. I was incompetent, so I was only qualified to choose between "being cheap labor" or "doing something affectionate but without a dime".
there are some things I thought I would never mention again.
because I am poor, I have stolen money from my parents, one to one hundred yuan, in the first grade of primary school; because I am poor, I use the excuse of paying book fees to cheat my elders' pocket money; because I am poor, I accept material aid from people who want to please me; because I am poorAll the friends around me are rich. With a strong sense of vanity and comparison, I once thought that life would always be immersed in the quagmire of hypocrisy and affectation.
I am afraid that others see me as poor, and I am afraid of being pitied or looked down upon until everything is exposed. That night I thought I would disappoint my parents and even throw them out, but they pushed my brother and sister away and didn't beat me or scold me.
"it's not your fault. It's the incompetence of being a parent that can't give you a good life." "but you know, if it's not yours, it's not yours." In the long and serious conversation, I only remember two sentences.
I curled up in my room alone that night as if I had been in prison all night.
so along the way, even if I don't have the money, I won't take advantage of it, ask someone to invite me to dinner, or buy something for me, won't lend me the money, ask someone to have a drink with my friend, and ask you or aa to share the bill. I will try my best to help others if I can. Can not afford to buy a famous brand, do not dress sloppy and disgraceful; can not eat a big meal, would rather not agree to the invitation of friends, will not eat and drink.
there will be all kinds of people around you who will inculcate the concept of money. The first group of people will teach you that "money is linked to dignity, and you want to make money." the second group of people will teach you to "use your ability to make money." the third group of people will teach you that "when you have the ability to catch up with the material life you want, you should also try to live with quality."
A quality life is very simple for me. I don't have to put materials and interests at the top, but when I walk into the school convenience store, I want to drink yogurt. I hope I can go directly to the freezer and take out my favorite card milk, instead of squatting down to the bottom to find two and a half pieces of yogurt that I don't like very much, just because it's cheap. I don't want to have the idea that I can buy a bottle of Cass milk and drink three boxes of yogurt. I hate it.
I like small white shoes and various styles of white shoes. I hope I can have the ability to buy genuine shoes instead of searching for cheap imitation on Taobao for half a day. I remember a roommate once said to me, "it's just a pair of shoes, they all look the same, and no one takes a serious vacation, why should they be so vain?" At that time, she retorted angrily, "for me, clothes don't have to be so good, restaurants don't have to eat so high-end, but shoes must be of high quality." It has nothing to do with face, it's a kind of respect for yourself. "
has always believed that if there is no money, you can not buy the best and most expensive, but I should have, or everyone should have a pair of good shoes that suit them best. Recently, I saw an extremely poking phrase in my heart on the Internet-"the love of white sneakers never stops". It was only later that I realized that it was a slogan of the show network. As a "big fan of white shoes", small white shoes (such as Adidas and veja) can almost represent my values of material, pursuing simplicity and quality, rather than blindly following luxury and splendor.
"the love of white sneakers never stops". Every time I look at girls in their twenties on high heels that have worn out their heels, and boys in their twenties on black leather shoes covered with fine dust, they are very formal and capable, but what I miss and love most will always be the money saved at the age of 18 when I was 18 years old. I hesitated for half a month to buy the first pair of genuine Adidas shoes on Zhaoxiu.com.
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they asked me what it was like to have no money.
No money is the same size 36 shoes
I can only think about it
to buy 36 yuan a pair of experience.
well, today's dinner appreciation is "runway". It is an established fashion e-commerce company that focuses on and excavates good things that are of high quality and difficult to buy.
I remember writing an advertisement in which many fans complained backstage that we had "gone bad", "stories were all fake, made up for advertisements", and even "decisively". I was impressed by a comment saying, "you actually advertise secretly." I'm not afraid of him saying that our advertisements are poorly written. What saddens me most is that he used "unexpectedly". A few days ago, a friend I didn't know very well asked me to help him write an article on his official account. He said, "isn't this a piece of cake for you? it takes less than half an hour to sit there and knock."
they think that writing is sitting in a coffee shop typing and drinking coffee to spend a leisurely afternoon of "lazy petty bourgeoisie". They don't know what it's like to stay up for an article from the wee hours of the morning till dawn.
they think that simply saying "I love" can support us to devote most of our time to writing, ensuring that with one article a day, someone will automatically transfer money to our account. they can't see our team having a dinner and can't afford a decent meal, and they can't see the picture of our team having a meal and cola in the playground.
(fake grass at school on March 27, 2016)
I have no money, and it is not easy for someone to transfer money to me as soon as I complain about it, but at least writing is what I love and is the only thing I have some ability to do at present. Then I have to rely on this "hobby" and "ability" to achieve the kind of life I want.
because I'm sorry,
I don't want to be a poor idealist.
and I hope,
you can live the life you want by virtue of your "hobbies" and "abilities"
because life is like a white shoe,
you have to hold on to it to the death before it stays in your hands.