The most comfortable relationship for adults

Buddha said: "No matter who you meet in your life, you are bound to appear in your life. There is a reason and a mission. It is no accident that this person will teach you something."

those who appear in life, some are to warm you, some are to experience you, and some are to fail you.

when you meet more people and experience more things, you gradually realize that not everyone can accompany you to the end, and not everyone is worthy of your sincere efforts.

there are always some people, no matter how hard you try, how much you please, but still can't move his heart;

there are others who can get along comfortably without too much words and too much effort.

when you reach a certain age, you will understand that the best relationship between adults is to get along comfortably.

01

A comfortable relationship does not need to pander or please

Zhang ailing once wrote this sentence: "when she saw him, she became very low, low to the dust, but she was happy in her heart and blossomed out of the dust."

when I was young, I was always moved by such feelings.

I still think that to love someone is like this. You can be humble to the dust for him, you can pretend to be what he likes, and you can please him infinitely.

but do not understand, stand on tiptoe to love a person, in the end, you can only hurt yourself.

because people will be tired when they stand on tiptoe for a long time, and their hearts will break when love is emptied.

and the people who really love you, do not need your deliberate ingratiation, do not need your care, let alone your grievances.

what he loves is who you are, not what you pretend to be humble and pretend to be what he likes.

this is also a comfortable relationship in the adult world: no pandering, no flattery.

after all, wishful giving and trying to please will never end up with sincerity, but disappointment.

like the heroine in the Japanese TV series "calm Leisure", in order to please her boyfriend, she secretly gets up an hour early every day and pulls her curly hair into straight hair.

not only that, her boyfriend doesn't like her drinking, so she pretends that she can't drink, and she will get drunk if she drinks a little.

what is the result of trying so hard to cater to and please?

it means that her boyfriend disrespects her more and more, even taunting and ridiculing her with his colleagues.

I have heard a saying: "anything you need to cater to in order to maintain a relationship is wrong."

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because every time you pander, every time you please others, you give up the position you hold in your heart.

in the end, even you will hate such a humble, ingratiating, selfless self.

you know, a comfortable relationship is never about keeping a low profile and flattering each other, but to be yourself simply and truly.

so instead of trying so hard to please someone, try to be who you really are.

not humble, not pandering, not flattering, you are who you are, the best you are.

02

A comfortable relationship

many people are like this, thinking that when they know each other very well, they lose their original sense of distance, thus unscrupulously invading each other's boundaries.

but even if two people are no matter how close they are, if they don't have the proper boundaries and sense of division, the end result will still be strangers.

because when people get along with others, they are close to each other, and familiarity is not out of line. This kind of relationship is the most comfortable.

have you ever had the experience of breaking up with a good friend for many years?

I have.

the cause is just a small thing, and she wants me to cooperate with an interview.

but at that time, I was too busy with work, so I refused.

then she complained about me, was indifferent to her friends, and didn't care about the friendship she had once had, which she refused to help.

I didn't explain anything, but deleted her silently.

from good friends for many years to strangers now, it is impossible to say not to be sad.

but man is a very strange emotional animal. If you are too far away, you will miss, and if you are too close, you will get hurt.

I can't stand her sharing the details of her and her husband with me every night, because I'm so sleepy.

I can't stand her occasional sudden call, just reminding me to give her a knife and give her a hand.

what's more, she lost her temper at me for no reason and apologized to me afterwards.

in this relationship, I am tired and feel more uncomfortable.

I think it's time to put an end to this friendship.

Zhou Guoping once said: "A sense of size is a sign of mature love, and interpersonal communication should know how to abide by the necessary distance between people."

the best relationship is not entanglement, but intimacy; the best relationship is not between you and me, but not between you and me.

Life is like a ruler, be moderate; feelings are like noodles, don't cross the line.

A comfortable relationship must be kept at a proper distance, neither deliberately estranged nor too intimate.

just the right distance, we can get along longer and more comfortable.

03

A comfortable relationship, know your cold and warm, understand your joys and sorrows

Gu Cheng wrote in a poem: "the grass is knot its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, we stand silent, it is very beautiful."

if you don't want to say it, I won't bring it up; if you are sad, I will wait for you silently.

perhaps this is the most comfortable relationship between people: knowing your warmth and knowing your joys and sorrows.

in Romeo and Juliet, there is a description: "she wants to stop, but her eyes have spoken her mind."

in this lifetime, it is a kind of luck and happiness to meet someone who knows you and understands you.

what I envy most in show business is the friendship between Chen Kun and Zhou Xun.

very often, Chen Kun will hold his grievance in his heart and does not know where to start or how to bring it up.

Zhou Xun is not in a hurry to ask questions, but stays with him silently, dispelling his sadness with silent silence.

as Chen Kun said in the interview: "because I don't have to say much to Xiao Xun, I'm a little bad, so let's have a drink and listen to music. Two hours will go by like this."

Life comes and goes. If you meet someone who understands you, you will have your own support, yearning and expectation about tomorrow.

I once asked my best friend why I was so sure that it would be him from now on.

my best friend smiled and said, "because he knows me best, knows what I mind, and understands my emotional breakdown point." I feel comfortable with him. I don't have to worry about being laughed at and I don't have to explain too much. When I think of this, I want to laugh and become clear about the future. "

in the sea of life, it is easy to find a fellow traveler, but it is not easy to find a person who is comfortable with each other.

so, if you encounter it, you must cherish it.

the rest of my life is so long, I believe we will eventually meet someone who understands your hard work and hard work, and knows your warmth and joys and sorrows.

you don't have to say, I understand, this is the most comfortable way to get along with each other, but also the best fireworks in the world.

04

I like this sentence very much: "comfort is like the wind in April and the rain in September. It is comforting and refreshing."

although there is no unified law in human-to-human communication, it can be divided into comfortable and uncomfortable.

A comfortable relationship does not need to cater to, do not need to please; uncomfortable relationship, careful, too humble;

comfortable relationship, close to each other, familiar not out of line; uncomfortable relationship, tied up too tight, physical and mental exhaustion;

comfortable relationship, know your cold and warm, understand your joys and sorrows; uncomfortable relationship, have nothing to say, nothing to say.

Life is already very tiring, so don't force yourself to maintain an uncomfortable relationship.

people seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. For the rest of their lives, giving up the uncomfortable and embracing the comfortable is the right way to get along.