& quot; work hard & quot; Wen /Zhang Jingshi
I received an email entitled "from a person who has been disorganized" the day before yesterday afternoon. The content is as follows:
because I met a friend who was disorganized. At that time, it was because I saw your article with the cover of Chunjiao and Zhiming. At that time, I knew I liked it.
I don't know why, every time you say something straight to the heart, every scene seems to happen to me, even the article I just read, I seem to be suffering from depression, well, depression
I am the one who was selected in the morning. I don't know if I have depression. I suddenly lost interest in everything a few months ago. Originally, on the first day of high school on August 1, I was determined to study hard, but a month later I changed. During that time, I didn't want to go to school. I slept all the time in the classroom. I even told my parents that I wanted to drop out of school. I suddenly resented everything in No. 2 Middle School. I began to alienate them, didn't like talking, liked to be alone, and even asked for leave to stay in the dormitory. I began to know that I had become serious, but I really couldn't change it. I made a decision that I will regret and transfer to another school.
it was during the time when I transferred to another school and went home to live, I saw the chaos.
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maybe you can't imagine that your words can change a person, but I want to tell you that you have changed me slowly. I begin to know what I want and what I should do, although sometimes I am still depressed. But I look disorganized. In X, I was regarded as high achiever, and almost everyone could see me, perhaps because I was taken too seriously by others. I began to become famous and self-centered, which led to nightmares later.
but now, I know what I'm going to do. I no longer care about rankings or scores in the exam. I know this third year of high school is aimless, but I don't like being haunted by depression. I just want to learn the subjects I like well and try my best to learn what I don't like. I know it's useless, but I just want to live every day, happy is also a day, unhappy is also a day. Don't let yesterday's sadness waste today's tears. I no longer expect to go to a good university. I look forward to which city I will go to and meet some people.
finally, I hope you can see my words.
this letter was sent to a disorganized public mailbox. Zhang Jingzhi sent it to the group before I saw it. After reading it, I couldn't sleep.
you said that you "saw one of your articles with the cover of Chunjiao and Zhiming fell in love with disorder," and said, "I seem to be suffering from depression in the article I just read." I'm not sure if I wrote these two articles, but even if the "you" you said included me.
I try to remember what the article on the cover of Chunjiao and Zhiming was, and what the article on depression wrote. Yes, I forgot long ago. I wrote so many things, most of them were gossiping. I really can't remember when I was. What words I said, and what impact it had on others. I only vaguely remember that I wrote the depression article not long after I joined the disorder. at that time, my life was so low that I suspected that I would be out of breath when I was walking on the road. The reading volume of that article was really low. I turned back one by one in the afternoon, and today it looks like more than 800, but I have received greetings from many strangers, and some even looked up some information about depression on the Internet and handed it over to me.
I don't dare to read that article easily, and I don't want anyone to read it, because I think it's all over, and in fact I don't want to bring such repressed emotions to others. I don't want to say more, but believe me, I have experienced what you have experienced, and my situation is even worse than yours, which is the reason why I insist on replying to your letter.
you say, "maybe you can't imagine that your words can change a person." Yes, looking back seriously along the way, there are a lot of people who admire you, and there will be people who scold you, and those "I love you so much" will be over, but they will continue to magnify every attack message. I once wrote an article in which some people talked at length to persuade me to go astray, some called me a bitch, and some even said I felt sorry for me. These things have been magnified enough in my mind to become the shadow of life. I have thought about not writing any more. What's the use? As Eason Chan sang earlier, "the original random mistake can destroy a lifetime", although it is not so exaggerated, but indeed, inadvertently may have been pushed, inadvertently maybe I have also pulled a hand. I never thought that what we did was entirely out of our own small move, which could help people. It was touching and incredible. So why am I still writing? because of you.
my freshman year was also affected by what some people did. I remember taking a bus for nearly two hours on a rainy day to see a brother's graduation photo exhibition from Dongguan to another campus in Songshan Lake. I was embarrassed by the heavy rain that day, but I still thought it was worth it. Can you believe that later I actually knew this graduated brother? one day I told him about it, and he said with emotion, "maybe it will be a mayfly in the end, but it is undeniable that there will always be an incredible influence on others. Pay a little attention to what you say and do, and try your best to be a good person and do things skillfully."
other people influence me, I influence you, then I also believe that you must also influence other people, do you believe?
so, there seems to be nothing to doubt. I may not have come out of the shadow, but I have taken a step forward. I am sober, rational, fully loved and loved, and I am not so ambitious. I will try something new, but I won't try too hard. In fact, I didn't get into the university I wanted, and many people around me are complaining, but you see, now, I am very glad to come to this place and meet these rare people. If I am admitted to a better university, I will meet a group of other people. If it is good or bad, who knows?. Who knows whether the college entrance examination is a dark horse or a mistake. Why do you think so much about things you don't know? Because when you come to us, you will know how much those little emotions in the college entrance examination don't matter. I am glad to know that you have figured it out now. I hope that on this day next year, you will still be able to write to us about your current situation.
Today, on a normal day, I received a few more messages. Some people failed and felt depressed. Some people said they were so depressed that they wanted to jump off a building. Some people said that they were so upset that they wanted to run away from home. Today is just such an ordinary day. I replied to them, "Don't be unhappy. Even if you have nothing, you still have me!"
Yes, even if you have nothing, you still have us.