Maybe sometimes we should really think about life.
I have been thinking about the question of "how to write articles that are useful to you" these days.
nine days have passed since October, and only three articles have been tweeted in total, while I have only written one and posted it in chaos. In fact, it's not because I'm lazy, because I basically write something every day, but I just don't post it in disorder.
because every time I finish writing, I look at the computer and think:
"does this article work for you?"
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and the answer is obvious, all useless, so I only tweeted an article about "Xi Ji". Because it is a relatively interesting activity in Dongguan, I would like you in Dongguan to have a look.
in fact, I spent the whole National Day holiday in a countryside in Hunan where there was no Internet. I still remember that evening on the 30th, when I was sitting on the sofa watching the live broadcast of LOL with my cell phone, my mother came in crying with her cell phone. At that moment, I realized what had happened.
my grandfather passed away.
I didn't comfort my mother, because I know this kind of thing, no matter what you say, you will only make the listener more sad. My mother lay on the stage and cried bitterly: "I spoke to your grandmother on the phone yesterday. I didn't even ask my grandfather to answer the phone. I knew it was hard for him to talk, but I really didn't expect him to wait for me to go back." We are all going back tonight. Why didn't he wait for me? why didn't I put him on the phone yesterday?
Grandpa is not in good health, but he remembers that my mother and they will return to Hunan on the morning of the 1st. But his memory is not very good. On the 29th, he asked my uncle, "is it the 1st tomorrow?"
"tomorrow is the 30th, and the day after tomorrow is the 1st."
I don't know if Grandpa heard me, maybe he didn't, because he left on the afternoon of the 30th. I just found that regret is so terrible, it is not the same as regret, you may be able to smile and say the things you regret 10 years later, but regret is a folder that you can no longer bear to open for the rest of your life, and you can't delete it.
my mother's regret is that she didn't talk to him on the phone and couldn't accompany him for the last leg of the road.
Grandpa's regret is that he didn't wait for his children to come back and tell them what he wanted to say.
my regret is that I went back to my hometown during the winter vacation, but I didn't even spend a little time with him.
it took us 15 hours to travel from Dongguan to Hunan. That night I sat in the copilot and watched the lights compete with the night. I didn't know how many of them wanted to arrive at their travel destination the next day. I don't know how many of them were like us to go back to visit relatives during this rare holiday. Along the way, I saw a lot of cars breaking down in the emergency driveway. Some of them were sad, some helpless, some didn't care. I looked at them and they looked at the passing cars. I didn't feel sorry for them. They just had their own experiences.
I suddenly remembered a passage from Lu Xun:
A man downstairs was sick to death, and the family in that room was singing the gramophone; the opposite was playing with children. There were two people laughing madly upstairs and the sound of playing cards. There was a woman crying over her dead mother on the boat in the river. The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same. I just think they are noisy.
towards 12:00 in the evening, a good friend talked to me about what had happened recently. I told her about my recent troubles, and I didn't think I could write anything new.
she said I was in too much of a hurry, and I was a little confused by standing still.
I said, "I'll think about it when I get back, where the time to think will double."
after returning to Hunan, my cousin and I spent a whole afternoon chatting to the farmland with my cousin who stayed together every day when I was a child. we talked about our troubles and our experiences in recent years from the past to the future. At that moment, I thought we were all the same little boys who secretly went to Internet cafes ten years ago, because as adults, we were all busy playing with our mobile phones and looking at computers, so busy doing "useful things" that we had no time to talk to each other.
during my seven days in Hunan, I watched all the most boring movies on my computer, "one by one", "Perfume", "Night and Fog in Tin Shui Wai", "alive", "that Mountain Man and that Dog". After watching it, I thought for a long time about what kind of truth the director wanted to tell us, and whether it would be useful for us. Soon after, I wrote this sentence in my notebook:
"there are some things we already know, but if you don't experience those things, you'll never understand." Movies, on the other hand, are helping me experience things that we can never experience in our lives. "
I was really in a hurry before. I wanted to develop to what kind of scale when the foundation had not been laid and the experience was not rich enough. Now that we have figured it out, we should be more stable. For the time being, I don't want to write any "useful" articles for you. I just want you to think of your own life after you see these words. It's best to be able to make some adjustments. It doesn't matter if you can't. Just work hard on your own.
finally, I would like to use this article to commemorate my grandfather and wish him a good way.
good night, everyone.