Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
"how easy it is to raise a girl, just spoil it."
"A daughter is a little princess and must be well protected."
"I can't accept her getting married. I want to keep her with me for the rest of my life."
how many parents have ever expressed their expectations of their daughters in this way?
in their eyes, a girl should be spoiled, held and grown up carefree when she is born.
but when a boy is born, he should endure hardships, suffer, and become an upright man.
as star Gai once said on the program:
"when a son reaches the age of 18, he has to earn his own money and won't take care of him any more.
if a daughter, it's okay to take care of her until she's 80."
how many parents try their best to give the best to their daughter, take care of her and protect her all her life.
but I don't know that parents'"special" love for their daughter often abandons the girl before they know it.
some time ago, actor Qin Hao complained in the program that Wang Xiaofei treated his son and daughter differently.
Wang Xiaofei will be very gentle when she comes home to see her daughter.
"Baby, you're back! Do you miss your father? "
then kiss and hug and hold high, just like a "loving father".
the son on one side came up and shouted "Dad (Taiwanese accent)". Wang Xiaofei looked dissatisfied and snapped:
"what's your name, Dad? talk to me, Dad!" It's called Dad! "
on weekdays, Wang Xiaofei brazenly expresses her love for her daughter.
on my son's birthday, I took my daughter out to the beach to play.
when my son fell, he felt that the boy should be strong and not to cry. When his daughter fell, he was so distressed that he wanted to cry.
every time I take my daughter out to play, I either hold her in my arms or ride on my shoulders.
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when he was isolated in a special period, his heart and thoughts were all daughters, and he even comforted himself: "if you don't let go of your brief love affair with your son and daughter, you can't get Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling), I will spend decades with her."
in a variety show, Wang Xiaofei also made it clear:
"my daughter is for protection. I want to keep my daughter at home forever and give her the best, so that she doesn't have to struggle and won't be cheated by other men."
one sentence, let netizens say: think carefully and fear.
can this kind of upbringing really keep his daughter safe and sound for the rest of her life?
from the daughter's point of view, the "privilege" that parents have given to their daughter since childhood is not a kind of secret harm.
recently, a woman in Jiangsu Province has been searched for "adult infantile disease".
she is 34 years old and the mother of a 3-year-old child, but her behavior, character and psychology are still like an underage child.
she always felt that she had not grown up, and the room was covered with stickers of beautiful girl warriors and crayon Xiaoxin, and her dress style was also very childish.
in daily life, she is so dependent on her parents that she has to ask her parents to help with washing and cooking.
after the diagnosis, the doctor found that she already had a psychological disorder.
and the doctor's words hit the nail on the head and pointed out the problem:
"this disease is often due to the over-protection of her parents during her growth period, which made her nostalgic for the state she was in when she was a child. psychological development is not mature enough."
Professor Li Meijin once said:
"the growth of children needs love, but the essence of love, the art of love, and the expression of love are not only giving, not only satisfaction, but also not all kinds of accommodation, not to make children feel happy forever."
if a girl does not have to do housework, worry about food and clothing, fall down and be protected when she is young, she will never have a chance to grow up.
do you remember Ma Shuya's daughter?
when she was almost 4 years old, she was still wearing diapers, couldn't eat by herself, couldn't go to the bathroom, and was always crying for her mother.
she is timid, sensitive and repels to communicate with other children.
because of her poor self-care and social skills, she was advised by the kindergarten teacher to quit: "if you can't solve these problems, don't read it."
in the program, she often lies, beats people, and is criticized by netizens for being "uneducated".
and all this has something to do with Ma Shuya's education of her daughter.
for fear of her daughter knocking against her, she moved away all the furniture in the house, and the family had to sit on blankets to eat;
when she arrived at the vegetable market, she did not let her daughter touch her because they were too dirty.
her daughter lost her temper wayward, and she was never willing to scold and criticize her. As long as her daughter cried, she would put down all the principles to accommodate her.
because she was worried that her daughter would be bullied or could not adapt, she refused to send her daughter to kindergarten, and even thought of becoming a kindergarten teacher herself.
as the education expert said, "what you do to her today is the harm done to her by others tomorrow."
to her daughter, she does everything and spoils her too much. Although she protects the child from the storm for a while, it also hinders her chance to grow up independently.
coincidentally, there is also a mother in Qingdao who keeps her daughter in captivity at home.
the little girl is already 8 years old, but she seldom goes out or goes to school since she was a child.
now, she doesn't even know her grandparents and her father doesn't scream anymore.
the mother is afraid that her daughter will be hurt outside, so she won't let her play with other children.
for fear of the teacher wronging her child, she won't let her go to school even if she is 8 years old.
isAfter "protecting" her daughter, she kept her daughter in the house all day and was not allowed to go anywhere.
"I don't restrict her freedom. She can play whatever she wants at home and learn whatever she wants."
from the mother's point of view, there is nothing wrong with her daughter's knowledge that she should learn at home. She is good at drawing and writing.
but the comment section has changed the car:
"if you feel good, you may not be really good."
"be careful to make your child autistic!"
"such girls are more vulnerable and cheated when they grow up."
there is a saying that the adopted daughter knows the danger of the world.
it seems that it is more difficult for girls to grow up than boys, and they have to bear more unknown risks and injuries, so their parents are willing to let them hide under their wings.
however, parents can protect their children for a while, but not for the rest of their lives.
this kind of love, which has no bottom line and principle, will only flood and engulf the daughter's future.
A girl also needs friends and experience so that she can grow slowly through experience.
while the parents cut off the outside world to hurt the girl, they also cut off her wings and refused all the good things for her.