I wish it was hot for you for three minutes.
"I don't want to change it."
Wen /eel whale
in the past, whenever people said, "there is light in their eyes," they would be scared. I also love that kind of "light", but I am also afraid that one day, the "light" in their eyes will dim or disappear.
one week, three people came to tell me that I dared to do what I loved because of your influence. I didn't sleep well that week because I was secretly frightened but didn't tell anyone. In fact, I gave them a false impression that they only saw the eagerness at the beginning, but they didn't see the indifference when I threw something away later.
"the fact that I am a three-minute hot person"
Junior High School wanted to learn guitar on a whim, so I went out on a stormy night to buy a guitar, signed up for a class, and was busy preparing for the final exam for about a month or two. the guitar has been sealed by dust in the corner of the room ever since.
during the summer vacation when I graduated from the third year of high school, I bought a small sewing machine and bought all kinds of cloth. Every day, I took the room as a small workshop, with paper, pens, rags, scissors, needle and thread all over the floor, copying, designing, cutting, sewing, from constant failure to gradually getting used to it. At the end of that summer vacation, the sewing machine was sealed by lockers.
during the winter vacation of my freshman year, I bought another oven with my savings. My workshop moved from the room to the kitchen, bought all the materials, found that there was no scale, bought cream, and found that there was no milking machine. So I bought a kitchen electronic scale and an electric milking machine. I began to know the difference between low-gluten flour and high-gluten flour, between vegetable cream and animal cream. From simple cranberry cookies to cherry mousse, egg tarts, pizza, chicken wings, cheese baked rice, desserts to western food. No accident, the oven was sealed by the cupboard after the start of school.
there are a lot of things like this. I bought a set of scriptures and copied only one Heart Sutra. I bought a paintbrush and did hand accounts for only a few days. I signed up for dance classes at the gym and stayed in the dance room for no more than seven days. after learning to form the habit of bookkeeping and roughly figuring out why I spend money like water, I lose it again. I go jogging every once in a while, but only occasionally.
all kinds of "priors" from childhood to big directly evolved into later when I tried to do something, my family would roll their eyes and say, "come on, you're only hot for three minutes."
their own inner suffering is even worse than that of the outside world. I point out that I have scolded and tried. I wish I had also tried to strangle myself. I swear every time, but it is these promises that can be easily exported that are most easily broken.
every time I make a schedule, I think that this holiday is different. As a result, you don't dare to think about it when the holiday is over. There are always people who talk about their love for the organization during the interview, but turn to perfunctory treatment after joining for a period of time. Roommates are always clamoring to lose weight, but they always break the precepts under my "instigation". Always said to save money, this second in order to cook instant noodles to save a meal and secretly happy, the next second was encouraged to go shopping in the restaurant at any time spent more than ten meals.
I always say I want to write an article every day, but I don't have literary friends until the editor-in-chief is mad at me.
when I was in high school, the Chinese teacher talked about "love and change of heart" in class. She said, "can you say he doesn't like it?" No, he loves it. When you love, you really love, but when you don't love, you really don't love. "
since that class, I didn't hate "not loving" very much. when my friend was lovelorn, he cried and grabbed me and asked, "Why did you say there was no love in the first place? why are all men like this?" I asked, what can be done? if you don't love, what can you do if you don't love? it's not just men.
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there are always people who like to tell people their plans and post them on moments for supervision before doing something. A few days ago, I saw a retweet of "you click a like and I will read a book next year." I am very supportive of reading, but I didn't like anyone. Seriously, I'd love to see them throw it in front of me with a realistic list of books a year later, "you see, I did it!" .
but we all know that most people will plan with great ambition when they see this. They have even taken a book from the shelf and turned a few pages. They put the book that is Amazon Taobao into the shopping cart, but by the time the express delivery arrives, the eagerness has expired, and people who really love reading books read all the time. They don't seem to need a plan, and naturally they don't need to "talk."
I don't tell the world before I'm not sure to finish something. I think it's just my business. Whether it's done or not is all about me.
the day I joined the mess, the editor-in-chief asked me, can you stick to it? I told him, "I can't tell you. I can say I like it now, but I can't promise I'll stick to it." Because, even I don't know if I can, so why don't you say anything and do it first. "
some people will jump out and scold me, as I once scolded myself, "you are just hot for three minutes, beautify what", "if you can't hold on, say you can't hold on, make any excuses", I don't beautify it, I don't make excuses, and I don't make excuses. I don't love these things enough, I admit, but I won't admit that I'm an unreliable person, and I'm not going to force myself to do it from beginning to end. I loved it from the moment I liked it until I was buried after death.
do you say three minutes of heat is useless? No, not really.
although I didn't learn the guitar, I tried to teach beginners some simple fingers; my sewing skills were not amazing enough to be a tailor, but I tried to say handsomely when a friend took a fancy to a shoulder bag: "this is very simple. Don't waste money. I'll give it to you."
my baking skills are not at the level of a pastry chef, but I can replace other desserts with hand-made desserts when giving gifts.My friend's mother will miss me because she likes my cakes, and she has tried to make a special birthday cake for the family dog.
I have not persevered in scripture copying, but I can always borrow the essence of the Heart Sutra for peace of mind when I am anxious. Running didn't keep me fit, but it was the best choice when I didn't know where to go. At least I slept better during that time, or at least I didn't want to commit suicide when I was depressed.
I have convinced myself of two things over the years. First, do not try too hard, do not like to what must, do not be motionless ambition, do not casually talk about love and ideals; second, strive for but not too much pressure, if love diluted will try to turn it into a habit, in case it is really not energetic, then give up for a while to insist on turning into disgust.
maybe after you try to give up, you will find out what you really love so much that you can't give up. I like to write things, and one day I became an editor. I was faced with being urged by the editor and denied by the readers. I suddenly felt as if I didn't like writing so much. I tried to give up. But I would suddenly get up and turn on the lights when I had thoughts on one night. I was holding the computer and yawning until dawn, and I really liked it when I wanted to stop a hundred times but couldn't stop it.
what about you, don't you really like anything,
instead of being hot for three minutes?
Yes, when I love someone who doesn't love me
I persevere, I am extremely focused.