I support you.

I support you.

Thank you for all the chaos.

Wen /Zhang Jingbi

Tonight, write about my teacher


I have said many times how I made the best use of the word "dawdle" as a freshman, and I also said that I was disorganized because of my sister's encouragement, but I didn't seem to have a serious conversation with you, my writing teacher.

she is my college head teacher, but until I became a sophomore, I didn't even remember the head teacher's name. But this is also normal, because I have worked hard for a year, but I still can't remember the names of some students in my class.

I'm not sensitive to names, so I know exactly how hard it is to remember a name, so I think hard about how I have to introduce myself to make others remember my name.

Zhang Jingzhi, the name I used in high school Weibo, I don't know how I thought of it, but I just thought it was appropriate, whether it was used to describe my life, or me.

but now I think clearly that people won't remember you for how you introduce yourself. They remember you because of what you have done or are doing. But when I was a freshman, I was confused. Even if I changed my name to "Zhang Mary Suzhen thorns", others would not remember me, but would only remember this funny name.


when I was a sophomore, my head teacher taught basic writing. I remember her class was one or two sessions on Thursday morning.

in fact, I have long forgotten what writing skills were taught in that course. I only remember that the head teacher asked us to write an article on a topic given by her every two weeks. but every time she would emphasize:

"if you have a better topic, write what you think is a good one, but remember: no matter what."

but I didn't hand in my homework for the first time, not because I was too busy, but because I had nothing to do and forgot everything in class.

she asked people who did not hand in their homework to raise their hands, then went to them one by one and asked, "Why don't you write?"

and the first sentence after the male classmate in front of me stood up was: "because I don't want to write."

the head teacher said, "OK." Then sit down, and I won't force you. "

"what about you?" The head teacher looked at me. She was not as strict as those teachers in high school. Instead, she made people feel kind.

it took me three seconds to stand up and say, "actually, I did. I just wrote it on the Internet."

head teacher: "on the Internet?"

me: "Wechat public platform, on which I publish my own articles."

head teacher: "what topic did you write there?"

I wiped the sweat from my hands and said, "come to the fake grass with the mask of night" and write down my opinion of the football field behind the canteen. "

I want to stop shaking when I speak, but I keep shaking all the time. In fact, I am not nervous, I have tried to answer the teacher's questions in class before, but this time is different, because I have no steps to solve the problem, but directly say what I really think, so I am a little scared.

in fact, I am afraid of losing face and that others will disagree.

the head teacher asked, "do you write on the Internet every day?"

I: "No, it takes me a long time to write an article."

head teacher: "then you have to write more." What is the name of the public platform you are talking about? "

me: "disorganized, my public platform is called disorganized."

head teacher: "Why is it called disorganized?"

this is the first time that an outsider has asked me this question. I don't know how to answer her, but I have to pretend to be relaxed. I said, "because chaos is chaos."

at that time, the whole major was looking at me. In fact, my roommates knew I was doing Subscription account, but I guess they didn't read my "fake grass" either, because I remember clearly that it had less than 10 times of reading. Apart from my sister, my girlfriend and my cousin, I can't guess who the other five are.


after listening to my answer, the head teacher went straight back to the podium, looked at me and said, "Briar, why don't you tell us about your disorder?"

I froze there at that moment because I really didn't know how to introduce. I hesitated, with several "foreheads" in one sentence:

"forehead. Disorganized is a Subscription account that I made, er. You may usually write about what you like, uh. In fact, there is nothing to introduce, that's all. "

after I finished, I quickly sat down, but after sitting down, I began to regret why I didn't introduce a few more words. Because it was a critical moment for powder absorption, you know, there were only 110 fans at that time, and 105 of them were friends of my classmates and my sister.

"disorganized is the 'disorganized', right?" The head teacher compared the gestures. I know what she means.

I replied, "Yes."

head teacher: "well, the simplest one is disorganized." Ask all the students in the class to follow the official account of the thorns, and everyone to support it. Because there are many kinds of writing, some with a pen, some with a keyboard, but now it is a new era, so I encourage everyone to write with the keyboard and publish it on the Internet.

"as long as you are willing to write, I will support you."

after class, I went up to the head teacher and asked her, "teacher, can I add your Wechat?" I'd like to send you what I've written. "

she smiled and said to me, "of course, youWell done (that's the adjective). "

the word "great" is the first time I have received a compliment since I was a freshman, so I remember it until now.

and it actually means the same thing to me as when someone called Zhou Xingchi "walk-on" in King of Comedy, no longer adding the word "death" before "walk-on".

that's an admission, and it's finally an "admission"

although she hasn't read my article "come to the fake grass with the mask of the night" before, but maybe for my head teacher:

sometimes being willing to write is more important than what I've written.

(this is a picture made in 14 years)


when I went back, I found that there were more than 50 fans in disorder, all of whom were our professionals.

I forgot that from then on, I secretly made up my mind that I had to write a thousand words every day, for better or worse.

just chatted with Tong c about what she wrote when she was disorganized for 14 years. She said she was very sad to read it, whether it was the story of the article, the amount of reading, or my attitude. She asked me if I would say it, and no one believed it. An article was read only 17 times at that time.

Do you wish to be a Cinderella in a high quality but cheap lace dress red formal? The collection is in different beautiful materials.

now looking back, listening to Deng Ziqi's "endless regret", there is an unspeakable feeling.

June 17, 14 years

in fact, this Subscription account has also been doing this for more than a month. He feels that it is a bit difficult to update things that are useful to you every day, and his own article is also in a state of half a bucket of water. I often push my own articles to you. I'm really sorry if I feel useless. I feel like I've hit a bottleneck recently. I'll work harder and complain, ha.

July 20, 14 years

the article is very short, 665 words, but it cost me a lot of emotion. I think we have to brew before we succeed. Maybe I'm half done when I write down my 100th word. Thank you for watching, thank you for following me. Thank you.

August 6th, 14 years

I'm sorry, the editor has encountered a nightmare boss that I haven't encountered before. I have to put this Subscription account down for a while, and maybe I can't continue to update until my mood calms down. Thanks to all the friends who care about chaos, thank you for your subscription, if anyone wants to help update or become an editor, please reply me directly. Come on, everybody, we all have a reason to live.

September 3, 14 years:

1. "the dormitory is still unable to surf the Internet. Duan Geng has been here to say sorry for so long." I always wanted to prove myself, but now I'm getting over it. After a period of hard work, others will naturally understand you. "3." not to do your best, but to do it. Good night, disorganized er. "4." Thank you for still seeing this message.

September 16, 14 years

September 16, 14,

14, September 16, 14,

14, September 16, 14,

October 12, 14:

I feel a little flattered by the fact that I have a lot of fans these days. I obviously do not have that level, but there are so many people who pay attention to me, but there are not many, ha, but every new fan is a great encouragement to me. So I feel that I have a great responsibility and can't make up something to perfunctory everyone. After holding it for a long time, I still feel that the writing is not good enough. I hope you can like it.

October 25, 14:

"does it really make sense?"

"everything we experience will be a part of us."

14 November 04:

I, who did not work hard, was also proved not to be smart.

14 November 08:

14 November 08:

14 November 08:

14 November 08:

14 November 26:

ladies and gentlemen, I have written 25000 words since the beginning of the first article of this semester. I don't say it because I think I'm good. I'm just glad I finally took it seriously.

January 5, 15:

by the way, the goal of 500 fans has been achieved, and the goal of winter vacation has been set. It's a mess. Good night.

May 14, 15:

November 24, 15:

Hello, the tenth thousandth of you.

February 15, 16:

looking forward to it, the 20,000 th is disorganized.


it turned out that the memories were really long. I spent an hour reviewing 14 years of chaos and found that I could never finish it. At that time, I was humble, even with a little inferiority complex. At the beginning of every tweet, I pretend to chat with everyone, which is a bit of an "empty conversation". People who haven't experienced it don't know what it's like:

that is, when no one will reply to you the day after tomorrow, you have to pretend to have a good chat with others.

I found myself changed, snobbish, confident, completely without the humility and respect for everyone at that time.

I don't know if my head teacher didn't say the word "great" to me that day. I also do not know, if I was not willing to work silently and settle down to write those messy things, I would be where I am today.

but it was only then that I realized that without you, chaos would not be what it is today.

it may be a little late, but I want to thank you for your support and disorganization.

promise me,

if the people around you want to do something that doesn't seem to make sense in the future

don't rush to hit them, give them some time

because sometimes, your inadvertent "you're great"

may change a person's life.