Happy families are similar: mothers are spoiled, fathers are respected, and children are accepted.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
the opening words of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina are very shocking:
what are the similarities between happy families? I think a happy family should be: the mother is spoiled, the father is respected, and the child is accepted.
mothers are spoiled, families are happier
A writer once told such a warm clip:
when the subway arrived, a seat was available next to me. A little boy of about three years old ran over, sat down, and said to the car door, "Mom, come quickly, there is a seat here!"
soon came a young couple. The wife took her husband's hand and said to her son with a smile, "there is only one seat. You can sit, and I will stand with your father."
the little boy said, "I'm a boy. I don't have to sit down, Mom."
unable to survive the little boy's request, the mother sat down and the father rubbed his son's little head.
from their chat, I probably understood that the mother took her son out to play and took the father to work on the way. The son kept murmuring to his father, "can you play with my mother?"
the father comforted his son and said, "you have to be good. When I get off work, I will pick up you and your mother immediately and take you to eat your favorite banana boat."
the little boy was still not very happy, rubbing his father's hand all the time, but said nothing more.
later, when my father arrived at the station and was about to get off the bus, he suddenly said to his son very seriously, "you must take good care of my wife. Don't cry, don't mess with her, that's my wife, okay?" I'll make money for you! "
the whole car laughed and kindly watched the little boy make a promise like an adult.
if I had been there, I would have applauded the father. Because doting on your wife is the basic law of family happiness.
A father once asked Professor Medina, a famous American brain neuroscientist, for advice: "Professor, tell me, how can I help my son be admitted to Harvard University?"
Medina replied, "from now on, you go home and love your wife."
Sun Yunxiao, an education expert, later asked Medina: "Why did you let that father go home and love his wife?"
Medina replied: "in the United States, the best predictor of academic achievement is the emotional stability of the family, and most of the emotional stability of the family can be predicted by the wife's mood."
the more stable the wife is, the more stable the family is, and the better the child's grades are.
and the best way to keep your wife emotionally stable is to spoil her.
A woman who lives in her husband's love, her heart is soft, gentle and stable, will be tolerant to everyone around her, and will create a pleasant and warm family atmosphere.
on the contrary, a woman who has endured her husband's apathy, complaining and grumpy for a long time will pass on these negative emotions to the rest of the family, and the family will never be at peace and full of grievances.
there is a well-known foreign proverb, "Happy wife happy life", which translates into Chinese means "wife is happy, life is comfortable".
this sentence should be the motto of every husband.
Dad is respected, he loves Mom more
in Britain, there is a story of "the Queen knocking at the door".
once, Queen Victoria quarreled with her husband, and the husband went back to the bedroom alone and stayed behind closed doors. When the queen returned to her bedroom, she had to knock at the door.
the husband asks in it, "who?"
Victoria replied proudly, "Queen."
I didn't expect to open the door and there was no sound inside. She had to knock again.
then ask: "who?"
"Victoria." Answered the queen.
there is still no movement inside. The queen had to knock again.
ask again: "who?"
the Queen learned her lesson and answered softly, "your wife."
this time the door opens.
Women need to be spoiled, while men need respect.
Hong Kong actress Cai Shaofen knows how to get along with this couple. Her husband, Zhang Jin, is far less famous than her, but she never despises her husband and shows off her husband everywhere.
when Sun Li and Cai Shaofen were filming the Legend of Zhen Huan together, when they were interviewed by the media, they could not help revealing that Cai Shaofen was "praising her husband" in the crew every day.
in the eyes of Cai Shaofen, the Gu family is Zhang Jin's greatest advantage, and he praises the other person for being handsome, acting well, singing well and dancing well. "in short, he is good at everything."
after his wife's encouragement and respect, Zhang Jin was finally "elated" and won the best supporting actor at the Hong Kong Film Academy Award for his role as "Ma San" in "the Grandmaster".
when giving his acceptance speech, Zhang Jin choked up a little: "my wife is Cai Shaofen. Some people say that I have to rely on her all my life. I want to say, yes, my happiness all my life depends on her."
when she said this, Cai Shaofen sat under the stage crying into tears.
Dr. Emerson Eglich is a famous marriage expert. In more than 30 years of marriage counseling, Emerson discovered the true meaning of running a family and marriage-love and respect.
if a husband does not love his wife, the wife will not respect him, on the other hand, if a wife does not respect her husband, the husband will not love her wife, so the marriage will fall into a "crazy circle".
Cai Shaofen is happy. Because of her respect, she broke this strange circle and won Zhang Jin's deeper love.
A spoiled woman will be glowing and moist, while a respected man will be energetic and refreshed.
the more men dote on women, the more women respect men, and the more women respect men, the more men love women.
this is true of love, and so is running a family.
wives respect their husbands, husbands love their wives more, and families are warmer.
when the children are accepted, the family is really the home
Family Education instructor Liu Chenglian once met a little boy who dared not go home.
it was the final exam at that time. The fifth grade of a primary school was taking a Chinese exam in the morning. The father and mother of a little boy prepared the meal early, waiting for his son to come home.
when all the other children came back, their children were long gone. At first, they thought the children were late for fun, so they covered up the cooked food in the pot and waited for the children.
but almost an hour after school, there was still no sign of the child, so the couple got worried and hurriedly split up to look for it.
when they found the child, the child bowed his head and was wandering outside the school classroom, as if to enter the classroom, but not as if he were about to enter the classroom.
the little boy's father is a very responsible man. He specially found teacher Liu Chenglian about this matter and asked what happened to the child and what should he do?
teacher Liu Chenglian learned that the father usually dotes on his son and often takes his son out to play, but when his son does not do well in the exam, he will beat and scold the child.
so teacher Liu Chenglian said to him:
"I know very well that you must love your child, and everything you do to him is for his own good.
"but do you know what your child hopes for you?
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"he must hope that you can be good to him when he is not studying, when he is studying, even when he is not doing well in the exam, he needs consistent love."
it is a common problem for many parents that they cannot love and accept their children unconditionally.
but in the eyes of a child, the criterion of a happy family is whether he can be accepted or not.
A psychological organization conducted a special survey in which children of different ages from kindergarten to college were asked to speak freely and express their definition of a happy family.
the first three items are: parents' love, parents' full respect for their wishes, and parents' real concern and appreciation for themselves.
in fact, each of us has the same definition of home. We often compare home to a mother's arms, because home can give people unconditional love and acceptance, just like the warmth of a mother's arms.
Home is the only place where you can go back without a reason; it makes you feel that no matter what you become, it is the place to accept me;
is that even if you are a parent, when your life is at a low ebb, I still want to go back to my parents to regain their strength.
A good family should be a place where everyone can get comfort from it. If a family can make the mother be loved and the father respected, but the children cannot be accepted, it is not a perfect and happy home.
Zhihu has a question: "what is the experience of a very happy native family?" Netizens are very different, but the answer is more or less the same:
in primary school, the parents of primary school classmates came to pick up my classmate back hand in hand, leaving the rest of us to wait for admiration, and then that classmate's home became the best family in our hearts.
when I was a child, I was not forced to attend any cram school. Now that I am faced with career planning, they have never tried to persuade me to take the public exam or take the teacher's certificate.
in the early morning of the Spring Festival last year, I sent a text message to my parents, saying that I don't want to be your little cotton-padded jacket, I want to be your military coat.
the next day, my mother texted me back and said that a small cotton-padded jacket is enough, it is not cold to look good, so don't put too much pressure on yourself.
my father replied that your mother and I can take care of ourselves, and your biggest task is to live a happy life.