Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
Britain has a documentary tracking that spans 70 years, recording the different growth trajectories of nearly 70,000 children since 1946, trying to find out what makes them outstanding.
in the early stage of the survey, as expected, the survey data of five generations revealed the heart-wrenching truth:
the growth and achievement of children is affected by the family's social and economic level, and the children of most ordinary families are doomed to mediocrity.
however, in the middle and later stages of the survey, another data revealed that 20% of children from low-income families were finally able to break through the family environment and successfully counterattack.
the key to changing the fate of children is that they have parents who grew up with them.
although parents' income is not high, they care about their children as much as possible. Such a tutoring environment makes children confident and brave, courageous and aggressive to change their future.
writer Mo Yan said: the excellence of children is soaked in the sweat of their parents.
when we look at other people's excellent children, we might as well look back at ourselves: are you a parent who grew up with your child?
it's not time to "accompany", but the relationship
there used to be an apology in moments that brushed out parents' tears: sorry, son, I can't afford to put down work to support you, and I can't pick up work to accompany you.
but what exactly do children want?
many parents don't seem to ask their children seriously.
I have a friend who works in kindergarten. She once told me a little sad thing.
once, kindergarten held activities to collect children's wishes, but to the surprise of teachers, children's wishes were varied, many of which were related to their parents:
I hope my mother can accompany me to have breakfast and go to work in the morning.
I hope my father will come home from work early and not often work overtime.
I hope my parents will take me out to the zoo on weekends.
is not good-looking clothes, delicious snacks, nor interesting toys. Longing for intimate time with parents is the truest heart of children.
parents try their best to create material conditions for their children, but in the end, it is not what their children want at all.
perhaps some parents will say that it is because their children are young and they do not know the true meaning of life.
however, it is not an either-or thing between working for a living and growing up with your children.
if parents walk into their children's hearts, you will find that they don't really want much.
maybe as long as a hug, as long as a moment of intimacy, or a comforting word, a warm look in the eyes, can become the warm memory of the child's heart.
I think of Hao Yu, an 11-year-old boy in Chengdu, who wrote a note to communicate with his father, who was a high school head teacher, for four years.
"Dad, I can't remember how long it has been since you took me to the cinema last time.
" Dad, can you go home early tomorrow to teach me math problems.
"Dad, the teacher praised me for doing the Mathematical Olympiad correctly. Don't forget to read it."
"Dad, your eyes are full of blood. Pay attention to rest.
the joys and sorrows of the children are told to the father through a note, and the first thing the father does when he comes home late at night is to read the child's message and then reply to the child's letter.
thin pieces of paper strung together a thick relationship between father and son.
even if the father does not spend much time with him, the child takes his heart from the bottom of his heart.
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between the lines of the child, you can't see his complaint, it's more about his understanding and heartache to his father.
teacher Wu Zhihong said: if vitality is seen, it is good vitality, and only then can it be creative and upward.
although there are thousands of helplessness in life, as parents, we can create some warmth for our children and protect them to mature and grow up in our own way.
Real companionship is not just a consideration of time; real companionship is to warm the relationship between parents and children with love.
Let the child see and let the child understand that behind him, his parents have been growing up with him.
"companionship" is about feelings and self-confidence.
Thailand has a short film called "the worst parents in the World".
at the beginning of the scene, the bridegroom solemnly denounced his parents at the wedding banquet:
Why did he never take piano lessons? the only music lessons are at home and are free?
Why are all his friends going to expensive training courses while his cram school is arranged at the neighbor's house next door?
Why can a friend travel to a high-end theme park, while his trip always goes to the playground in the mall?
there are no luxurious parties or magic shows, only some tricks done by parents themselves.
the groom's complaint is full of growing confusion. In front of the guests who looked at each other, the bridegroom "questioned" his father: why can't you take the money I earn to support the family like other parents?
until now, the father got up angrily and pressed the bridegroom's head angrily to rub it, while the camera pulled back countless warm moments of growing up.
from childhood to maturity, the father rubbed his son's head to play with him, play with him, and study with him until he grew up.
"I want to thank my parents for being the worst parents in the world!" This sentence moved everyone at the scene.
because of his parents'"bad", he has aA wonderful childhood.
never leave the fatherly love and maternal love around him, and accompany him through one growth period after another.
when he is depressed, his parents encourage him; when he succeeds, his parents applaud him; when he is in trouble, he is not at a loss, because he knows that his parents stand by his side who will always support him.
the careful company of his parents made him never feel humble because of his poor; on the contrary, his parents' love made him full of self-confidence and finally ushered in his own successful life.
the bridegroom said: in the future, we should also strive to be "bad" parents.
in fact, it's not how important companionship is, but how important it is to let children feel the love, warmth and consideration passed on by their parents.
A child, only when he is loved can he learn to love. This sense of security from the heart will give the child the confidence to embrace the world.
High-quality companionship is the best way to educate
Children's way of life, full of all kinds of tests, whether they can win or not is actually a contest of educational investment.
as the first stop for children to connect with the world, the way and quality of parents' companionship determine children's cognition of self-construction.
Dong Qing said in the Reader:
having parents' company is the greatest strength for children to walk in the world; having parents' company is the best education.
cultivate good habits
the essence of education is to cultivate habits. As a matter of fact, it is habit that really widens the gap between children from childhood to age, from life to study.
in companionship, parents should give their children correct guidance, help them restrain their bad behavior and urge them to develop good habits, which will benefit their children for life.
cultivate a good character
although a child's character cultivation is related to congenital, acquired influence is more important.
the family is the child's first school, and the parents are the child's first teacher.
parents accompany their children from an early age. In the period of shaping their children's character, they can cultivate their children in a scientific and reasonable way, imperceptibly cultivate their children's good character, and set an example to influence their children.
cultivate good abilities
Professor Carol Dwick of Stanford University points out that the most important ability for a child to develop in the future is growth thinking.
this means that a child will look at the future from a developmental perspective, don't give up when he is in trouble, have fun in trying, and get up quickly even if he fails.
the influence of children's growth thinking often comes from whether there is a growing parent around them.
A parent who is willing to grow up with his child can let his child find strength in his parents. This is the power of companionship.
sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.
parents' rearing styles affect the future of their children.
the most important thing for good parents is to keep company, parents devote themselves more, and their children become better.