Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
in this life, people always meet all kinds of people.
some people feel relaxed when they get along, while others feel physically and mentally exhausted when they get along.
the relationship between people, in the final analysis, is just for comfort.
as the writer Su Qin said:
indeed, it is a high match for a relationship that we are not tired of getting along with each other.
A relationship maintained hard may not last long
writer Liu Yu once told a story.
when she was studying in the United States, she met a girl and the two kept in touch less frequently.
later, after getting along for a long time, she hoped that the friendship between the two people could be further improved.
she invited girls to dinner, opera, coffee and parties together.
she wanted to find a topic to talk about, but the girl was not interested and ended the conversation with a word.
she really wanted to talk to the girl about things in life and academic views, but the girl always liked to answer and gave her the cold shoulder.
No matter how hard she tried, she failed to raise the friendship between the two people to the next level.
because there is no way for two people to talk together.
as Liu Yu herself said:
We finally warmed up the friendship between China and Germany to 30 degrees, and the temperature could not go up any more.
throwing more firewood doesn't seem to work, even if the tears are smoked out.
in fact, if a relationship requires you to work hard to maintain it, it is doomed not to last.
even if you can maintain a superficial relationship, you can't get closer to each other.
sometimes, we are too obsessed with some things and some people. If we are not careful, we may push too hard, and the relationship will hit rock bottom.
relationships that are too hard are doomed to consume and embarrass each other.
I have seen a very heartbreaking remark:
there are some feelings that I can't catch if I want to.
sometimes the friendship between people should come to a full stop, so don't let it become an ellipsis, a question mark, or even a big exclamation mark.
indeed, the hardest thing in the world to grasp is not material things, but spiritual things, a period of friendship, a sincere heart, and the three values of being in tune with each other.
Friendship between people is sometimes like sand in your hands. The more tightly you hold it, the faster you lose it.
the most harmonious way for two people to get along with each other is to get together and break up if they don't agree, neither force the other, just let nature take its course.
too tired, forget it
in the TV series Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace, such as Yi and Qianlong are young couples.
the two are childhood sweethearts and like each other. In any case, they all look like a model couple who "hold hands and grow old together".
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but the facts have proved that the two people who had the same mind at first still could not escape the chastening of reality, to the point that they disliked each other and were tired of each other.
if Yi was framed to murder the heir of the emperor and was left out in the cold, even though Qianlong said that trust was like Yi, he had doubts in his heart.
when Ruyi was in Lenggong, Ling Yunche helped her and saved her life, so the friendship between the two was relatively deep. But out of the cold palace, someone incited the flames and created rumors such as Yi and Ling Yunche.
Qianlong gradually believed it and tortured Ling Yunche and Ruyi in every way.
in this torture, such as Yi felt physically and mentally exhausted, and finally discouraged.
when getting along with Qianlong, if Yi can avoid it, he no longer has any expectations.
so that the relationship between two people goes to the abyss step by step.
until finally, if Yi Shue invents the oath, the two people completely break up.
in this way, one has misunderstanding, the other does not explain, trust gradually disappears, suspicion appears frequently.
two people who originally loved each other lived a beautiful love that began with "looking at each other at once at the top of the wall, and the heart is broken at the sight of the king." it has become the regret of "orchid fruit" for the whole life.
in the eyes of Ru Yi, this relationship is always too tired to explain and unwilling to quarrel.
I have heard a passage:
people are always mutual.
your sincerity is exchanged for mutual trust, and your suspicion will only bring chills to each other.
in this life, say whether it is long or not, say whether it is short.
if you always consume yourself in a bad relationship, you might as well make plans as soon as possible, start a new chapter, and live a freewheeling life.
too tired relationship, might as well forget it!
A good relationship does not need to please
Zhou Ruchang has mentioned his friendship with Zhang Boju many times.
the two of them are 20 years apart, but they become very good friends because of A Dream of Red Mansions.
Zhou Ruchang also said in the preface to Zhang Boju's ci Collection:
Zhang Boju is a collector. There are countless books in his family, and Zhou Ruchang often goes to him to read books.
the two people do not need too much politeness, nor do they need to please deliberately, just how they are comfortable, each busy, and do not disturb each other.
Zhou Ruchang said, "when I went to Zhang Boju, I ignored him, and he ignored me. I was going back to school, and I didn't say goodbye. I left as soon as I got out the door. No one can understand our relationship."
in fact, a good relationship is like this, you don't need too much fancy language, and you don't need to be polite to each other.
all you need is a heart that is connected to each other, even if you are silent with each other.
Zhang JiajiazengIn the Commissary in the Cloud, I wrote:
relationships between people often do not need to be too lively, do not need to be deliberately pleasantries, and do not rely on pandering and flattery to maintain.
you just need to keep a normal distance, be with each other when you need it, and be busy when you're busy.
there is a sentence in "Zhuangzi Mountain":
the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, high-quality relationships are often the most authentic, and true friends are often the most "useless".
No matter who you get along with, the most important thing is to be comfortable to be who you really are.
the best relationship is that you don't have to be wronged to please anyone, and you don't have to change yourself to please anyone.
being with comfortable people is the best way to maintain good health
with age, more and more people find that it is better to have fun at first sight than never to get tired of it.
in this life, no matter who you meet, it is a kind of fate.
but whether we can walk for a long time depends not on the initial joy, but on the comfort of the long time.
as Yi Shu said:
with uncomfortable people, they will get bored and resent each other because they don't understand each other.
when you are with comfortable people, you will get along easily and achieve with each other because of mutual understanding.
in front of comfortable people, you can take off your disguise at any time, expose your vulnerability, and enjoy every minute you spend with each other, between exhalation and inhalation.
therefore, life is short, do not wronge yourself, and comfortable people together, is the best health.