Any relationship that makes you uncomfortable is wrong.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
on the way of life, we always meet a lot of people.
it's just that I feel at ease with some people.
when I get along with some people, I always feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable no matter where I am.
and these uncomfortable relationships are actually wrong and won't last long.
A comfortable relationship, there is no need to please
there is a question on the Internet: "what is the most comfortable relationship between people?"
below there is a high praise answer: "you are good, I am not bad, we do not have to please each other."
if you please carefully, you may get the favor of the other party for a while, but it is difficult to really walk into each other's heart.
I went to work one year, and because of the need of my work, I lived in the dormitory of my unit.
my roommate is a strong girl. Almost everything in the dormitory is arranged according to her preferences. In order not to conflict with her, I can only give up my preferences.
when I get off work in the evening, she sometimes pulls me to watch movies with me. Although I don't want to let her down, I still put down what I'm doing and watch movies with her late into the night.
what exhausts me most is that one evening that summer, I suddenly had a high fever and went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor specially stressed that I should try not to turn on the air conditioner at night.
I can see that my roommate is sweating so hot that I turned the air conditioner down a little bit.
I took out everything I could cover myself, but it was still so cold that I stayed up almost all night.
as a result, the next morning, I burned directly to 40 ℃, and I was so drowsy that I couldn't stand still.
my roommate kept complaining to me that she woke up several times in one night.
while I was still conscious, I quickly called 120 and was admitted to the hospital.
in the hospital, I suddenly realized that to please each other too much not only makes me feel suffocated, but also makes it more and more uncomfortable to get along with each other.
Jiang Fangzhou once said:
if you please, you can't win the appreciation of the other party, nor can you get a good relationship.
our relationship with anyone is like a balance.
if a person keeps a low profile and please each other, he will only make himself lighter and lighter, the two ends of the balance will surely lose balance, and the relationship will break down sooner or later.
A truly comfortable relationship is equal, and only when we give to each other will the relationship become more and more stable.
those who struggle to maintain do not last long
netizens @ Hanmu told a story about my friend Xiaofang.
Xiaofang has a childhood whom she has been with for many years. In her mind, she has long been convinced that Fa Jing is the person she wants to know for the rest of her life.
so, from small to big, she has been trying to maintain the relationship between them.
No matter what happens, Xiaofang always chooses to be patient and always think of small things.
Xiao Fang is more straightforward, but she knows that growing up has a strong sense of self-esteem. Every time she speaks, she will consider her feelings and think twice before she says it.
even if talking is hurtful sometimes, she doesn't care about it and still manages the relationship with her heart.
she always keeps her hair in mind for fear that one day she will lose her hair accidentally, even to the point of flattery.
but some time ago, after they had a fight, they fell out completely.
Xiaofang said she was so tired that she didn't want to please any more, so let's stop here.
from Xiaofang's point of view, it is because she cherishes her childhood that she is patient with her hair, and she is careful what she says. She apologizes voluntarily every time she quarrels.
what tires her heart is that she is desperately cherishing it, while Fa Xiao is determined to escape.
it is unexpected and reasonable for two people to withdraw from each other's world.
if you spend a lot of energy maintaining a relationship and still feel worried about gains and losses, then the existence of the relationship doesn't make much sense.
if in a relationship, you are sure that you will talk about something directly, and if you are busy with nothing, you can conclude that the relationship is comfortable and long-lasting.
what's the point of making friends?
everyone should make friends not to add to their own jams, but to live a good life together comfortably.
some people break up as soon as they walk; some relationships break up when they live together. These are the normals of life.
some people are doomed not to come, while some relationships are deliberately untenable.
Let it be broken, scattered, and let nature take its course is the best state.
not tired of getting along
I often hear someone say, "it is enough to have a bosom friend in life."
but what kind of person can be regarded as a confidant?
perhaps you can see the best appearance of bosom friends from Jiang Nansun and Zhu Suosuo in the Golden years.
this is a conversation between them.
nothing supports the friendship between two people more than mutual understanding.
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Jiang Nansun was taken care of as a princess from an early age, while Zhu Lock was always a bitter woman who had to rely on others and could only rely on herself.
even if there is such a big difference between the two people's origins, it will not affect them from becoming bosom friends for a lifetime.
Jiang Nansun understands Zhu Suosuo's hatred of unfixed abode and his desire for home.
Zhu Suosuo also understands that Jiang Nansun is different from herself, but respects her everything unconditionally.
the two of them have not had differences because of interests and reality, nor have they blushed because of anything.
some people just wish each other a good life from the bottom of their heart.
when Zhu Suosuo came out of his uncle's house and became homeless, it was Jiang Nansun who took her in and told her to make herself at home and stay as long as she wanted.
when something happened to Jiang Nansun's family, her boyfriend Zhang Anren only thought about his future and was unwilling to help Jiang Nansun tide over the difficulties.
it was Zhu Suosuo who did everything he could to stand beside Jiang Nansun and give her support.
their mode of getting along with each other confirms Sanmao's remark:
they support each other and achieve each other.
"I am successful, she is not jealous; I am depressed, she does not despise me."
A good friendship is like this. You can show all your vulnerabilities in front of me, or you can show off your success in front of me without scruples.
I am not belittling or jealous. I will only try my best to protect you and cheer for you.
Gu Cheng once wrote in his poem:
if you are not tired of getting along, you can never get tired of being with each other for a long time.
A really good relationship is effortless
writer Su Qin once said:
A really good relationship is effortless.
there is no need to please and work hard, two people are comfortable to let nature take its course.
people live all their lives, but they live happily.
I believe that no one is willing to struggle to maintain a relationship.
the rubber band is pulled too tightly, the harder it hurts; the sand held in your hand, too hard, will only spill faster.
A good relationship never takes effort.
if you don't agree, you will break up. You don't need to please, and you don't need to make great efforts to maintain it.
Life is not long. Instead of trying to please, it is better to leave time for the comfortable person to live happily.